The bladder woke me up (1:47am and then the rain, ligthning and thunder kept me laying here trying to fall back to sleep! Then the brain wonders....
Random thought #1 -
God sends angels to deliver His message everytime....EVERYTIME...I am doubting myself, wondering why I even try, or am beating myself up with negative internal discussions of the names I've been called or the reaccuring hurt from gossip.
Last night my husband came home from hospital calls and told me that a gentleman he was talking with told him that I am a Master teacher. The words I needed after a morning of dealing with feelings that constantly plague me from a person I respect for his honesty and experience. Now, it has only been in the last couple years (of 27) that I have forced myself to believe that I am decent at working with children. I knew I was unique in my teaching style but never truly believed I was a "master." Even though if I look back at my history....
*Many parent compliments
*Admin telling me over and over
There are always reasons why the negative has to be more true than the simple compliment.
*They are just being kind.
*They only saw 5 minutes of my 71/2 hour day.
*At church...they are just being nice because I'm the pastor's wife and just standing here.
Self confidence is not my strength. Working on it.
The important part is that I recognize when God is working to help me along this journey. I don't dismiss the words especially when they occur during times of doubt and deep self-reflection.
Random thought #2 -
I pray for the students I may have in the fall. We typically don't have our class lists until a week or so prior to returning. So, I pray for the wisdom of my principal to place in my care the students who could most benefit from my teaching. We all have specific gifts that can help some and hinder others. So....I was praying for these nameless students.
Random thought #3 -
Then I remembered how lucky I was to have such a vast experience because my father was in the Air Force.
Sunday an older man came to me and said, I know your dad was in the military but where did you really grow up. LOVE THIS QUESTION!! Answer: everywhere and nowhere. A typical Air Force Brat answer. "No, I mean, where did you grow up?" So...this wasn't going to be a quick get out of it answer. I explained I lived all over the world; had lived in 3 states before I was in school; attended 5 elementaries, 2 Jr. Highs, 3 High schools, & 2 colleges. He was amazed and asked more questions. I happily answered and the discussion went on to what a blessing that experience must have been.
The blessings are numerous and have made me the teacher I am today.
*I cringe when someone says, "They have moved every year. They are going to be low." or "They have been in so many different schools, I wonder how many gaps they are going to have?" Been there...grew up doing it and guess what...I turned out fine! Because of my experience, I am more flexible and understand other cultures better than many people.
* I understand the "new kid."
* I have pictures from all over the world that I use when I teach. Even teaching when teaching science I pull out pictures to demonstrate landforms and forces in motion. It hooks the students in a way others cannot.
YEAH....rain 💦💧 for the crops....now let me sleep😴! It's now 4:30am. Oh...it's July...I do have a School Improvement meeting in a few short hours. BUT I can come home and take a nap. 😊
This blog was completely random and I pray somewhat coherent. However, truly has not much to do about anything other than giving me something to do while the torrential rains continue.